I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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