so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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