is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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