yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
