We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize