So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
