i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I want her autograph on my taint
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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