Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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