I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
