I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize