did you get engaged???
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize