I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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