the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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