Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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