He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
