You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
