So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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