The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize