My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
