make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Damn victory sex feels great
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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