I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
The struggles of a small town man whore
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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