Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(210): View more from Texas

I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too

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(540): View more from Virginia

all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes

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(541): View more from Oregon

I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation

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(269): View more from Michigan

Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."

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(616): View more from Michigan

at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed

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(662): View more from Mississippi

Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

She is beauty she is grace

(301): View more from Maryland

she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

i thought you had class

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