Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
