Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
