He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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