Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Just cropdusted the office
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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