you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
