Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
