Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
