He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I have tasted many bathrooms
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
