Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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