woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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