a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
