woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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