We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
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