he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
