You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
