I hate your face
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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