Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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