so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
