WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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