I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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