ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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