Dude my mom stole all your condoms
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
