dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
