The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
