is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
