Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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