VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Are my feet made of real feet?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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