Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
NoShamevember. You game?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
