That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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