Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
