my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
