someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize