And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Just pee around me
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
