I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
