i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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