Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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