Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
