Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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