im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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