Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Just puked most of my soul out..
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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