the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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