I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
