Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
