what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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