hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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