Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I party with great urgency now.
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