I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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