hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Of course I have a pirate flag
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize