took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
