Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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